Updated: Nov 14, 2019
Child abuse is often hidden. Kids are reluctant to speak up about any abuse due to the vicious cycle of fear that it creates. Believing abuse is “normal” and if they say anything to anyone that things will get worse, they just accept the strange and painful emotions associated with it and move on with life.
The reason why children and adults are able to cope with these severe traumatic events is for them to disassociate from them. We disassociate by not remembering our past hurts, past hurts caused at any age by friends, family and enemies. Since those past hurts (soul wounds) haven’t been healed by Jesus they open the doorway which gives the enemy a legal right to torment us (Matthew 18:23-35). The enemy torments us through these past soul wounds and it can affect us in our bodies (sickness, pain, undiagnosed medical conditions), our soul and in our minds (with feelings of hopelessness that bring with it elevated emotions such as fear, anxiety, anger, rejection, abandonment or despair).
Long lasting effects
Many people will say that no one really gets over abuse from childhood, the effects and mental conditioning change a person. However through the grace of God we have a mediator (1 Timothy 2:5) who is Jesus and He intercedes on our behalf to the Heavenly Father (Romans 3:24) to heal the deepest wounds to our souls.
Inner healing gets to the deepest root of the pain from the trauma and gets it healed permanently.
A close friend of mine was abused by her mother, yes most associate abuse from the father but in this case, it was the mother. At almost 50 years old the memories of beatings for no reason from a very young age are apparent to those, like me, who have dared to get too close.
It is easy for anyone not to see the effects of an almost daily beating but when that person gains your trust the stories come out one piece at a time. Whether the abuse is sexual, mental or physical for a person who has been the victim of child abuse they really only have one way to move forward in their healing process, Jesus.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18 NIV)
Jesus is the only one who can heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). Through Inner healing the grace and peace of Jesus Christ begins to heal the pain and confusion of the damaged emotional life. The practice of inner healing involves encountering the truth of God and the presence of God in a secure atmosphere of God's love, peace, and healing power through Jesus Christ.
No stereotypes of abuse
My close and very dear friend came from a very advantaged background and the abuse that took place daily is something that many could never imagine happening. Growing up she had two friends she could speak to, a close father who it seems himself was mentally trapped by the same abuser who in later life became her rock and a strong faith where Jesus was part of her everyday life. But the abuse being handed out was something that seems impossible at first glance.
Because child abuse happens in all areas of society, not just in families but in schools and even churches it can easily go unnoticed. Being unnoticed because of the “it just cannot be true” notion because of what looks safe and normal on the outside, the stigma of being ignored or neglected in the victim sinks in deep.
That’s what Satan wants, He wants you to be feel like a victim, unnoticed and emotionally messed up. He wants you to believe there is no way out, but there is a way out, Jesus.
Coping with child abuse
As life goes on for child abuse victims they find and develop methods of coping with the trauma of the past. What is seen on the outside is not a clear image of what is going on in the inside. I see it in my friend and surrounding herself with many friends, despite their many flaws and poor influence is a safety mechanism where she feels wanted and even needed – her abuse from her mother made her feel unappreciated. Her abuse saw her run away from home in her teens and get married by the age of 20, married into a relationship not of love but of just being away from her abuser. This cycle of being in relationships not for love but for escape has been a cycle until I came along and the stigma of abuse, the cry for freedom after entrapment and abuse makes a relationship challenging because she struggles to trust.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; (Proverbs 3:5 NIV)
It can be said that people cope with child abuse rather than overcome or deal with it. Life does seem normal in many respects but the hidden truth, a truth that even in maturity seems dangerous to admit, still sits deep inside. People around a victim of abuse rarely see the torment and pain inside that the victim denies and has learned to live with and this simply means life carries on. That is because they have disassociated from that memory however that memory can be brought up again through emotional, mental and physical triggers.
God and Child Abuse
My friend found safety in God from a young age. She did not and still does not understand why she was abused, why she was “rejected” at birth, but her comfort was her faith in the Lord. We may not understand why bad things happen to us, even as children however we can find comfort in Jesus because through Him all things are possible.
Her bible gave her courage to overcome the abuse or at least deal with it as best she could and her relationship with God, although extremely private, is something that helps her each and every day.
The great thing is that we can find comfort in the Lord knowing that we can be healed permanently from our past. Just not that, we can be freed at the root of that pain and through Jesus can heal the emotion associated with our pain. This is done only through Inner Healing. Now, we may still remember what happened to us however the pain associated with those memories are healed.
Inner healing is just one of the many reasons why Christ died on the cross (Ephesians 1:7). God wants to heal our deepest hurts and that's where inner healing comes in.
Blessings, Timothy Tomlinson Timothy Tomlinson Ministries If you or someone that you know has been physical, verbal and/or sexual abused and would like a free consultation to begin the process to be set free please contact us.
Timothy is an anointed minister, evangelist and teacher. Timothy’s passion is to see freedom for the brokenhearted and to set the captives free in Jesus name.